Redefining Success: Why I Chose Happiness over a Paycheck

Achieving financial independence is a personal journey, but societal and familial pressures can cloud our decisions. Read about my journey to redefine success and leave the toxic grind behind.

Ever felt like you were chasing a dream, only to realize that it’s a nightmare? That was me in the summer of 2024. I was burned out, stressed out, and completely disillusioned with my career. The constant travel, long hours, and impossible expectations had taken their toll. I had severe anxiety, zero motivation, and was experiencing nightmares about work.

My pursuit of financial freedom was costing me my peace of mind. But even with enough passive income to cover my expenses, the thought of quitting felt like failure. I told myself to suck it up, work harder, and be grateful. Sound familiar?

Growing up in an immigrant household, self-care was never a priority.

I watched my parents work themselves to the bone. My dad worked two jobs to pay off our house and later swapped his night job for remodeling each rental property my parents acquired. He’d come home around 10 pm each night just to eat, shower, and sleep. Even his weekends were spent carrying out hard labor.

My mom bounced from job to job until she found one that didn’t exploit her immigration status. At 40 she was elated to land her first gig with health insurance, PTO, and a union.

They didn’t believe in taking time off. PTO for anything less than an emergency was laughable and they praised us for sacrificing sleep to get ahead. They even had to be forced home by their employers when they were sick or injured! It was all about providing. Afterall, how can you be selfish when so many people depend on you?

My parents’ hard work paid off. They built a real estate portfolio and retired early, even without a high school education. But it came at a huge cost.

By 48, my mom’s declining health forced her to stop working. Years of untreated diabetes and constant stress had taken their toll. She was lost; work was her identity. Two years later, after her health stabilized, my parents separated.

Their crazy schedules drove them apart. Once the kids were grown and retirement was secured, there was nothing left to bond them together. I used to suggest that they go on dates, but the idea of taking an evening off was unthinkable.

When they arrived in this country, extensive labor was their only option. But even as their situation improved, they never questioned whether that was still the best way to live. I wonder what would have happened if they’d worked less. Would a few nights off a month have really prevented them from achieving their financial goals? Or could they have found success and saved their relationship and health?

Reflecting on my parents’ relationship gave me clarity. I realized that I felt guilty for feeling unhappy in a job because I’d been taught that work was everything. I thought success meant a packed schedule and a ringing phone. But my introverted soul craved peace and quiet.

I spent time listening to my body and reflecting on the kind of life I’d chose if money weren’t an issue and came up with the following:

• A slow and intentional life in which I wake up without an alarm clock and spend time doing things I love. (i.e. gardening, painting, etc.)
• A challenging career that I am passionate about and doesn’t emotionally drain me.
• To be fully present with my partner instead of worrying about work.
• Enjoying the fruits of my labor while I’m still healthy.
• To maintain my current lifestyle without being tied to a job that I despise.

Changing the Script

With my newfound clarity and respect for my mental wellbeing, I decided to take a good hard look at my finances. And guess what? I could afford the life I dreamed of without a day job!

Years of saving and investing had paid off. I’d reached Coast FI, I had over two years’ worth of expenses in liquid assets and generated enough passive income to cover all of my bills.

The following week I worked up the nerve to quit. And you know what? It’s been the best decision I ever made for my mental health.

It’s easy to get caught up in the hustle, especially when you have big goals. But it’s so important to regularly check in with yourself and make sure you’re still on the right path. An unpaid sabbatical might not be realistic for everyone, but self-care and mental well-being should always be a priority.

Listen to your mind and body and feel confident in making decisions that are right for you, even if others don’t agree.

What would it take for you to feel comfortable taking an unpaid sabbatical? Share your thoughts below!